Fuck this.

I can't do this. No matter how wonderful you boyfriend or husband is, it's whats inside.  And if you're not whole inside, then ....well.....I can't help you.  Good luck to all. Try not to sabatoge what might possibly help you.

Sunday, and it was a lovely Sunday

Took a long drive with Mr. P today.  Had a little picnic lunch up in the Angeles National Forest.  Nice to get away from the noisy downtown.  But it's good to be home too.  If only we could have a home in all our favorite places so we could be wherever we wanted to be at that given time.  Hmmm....Note to self - must win lottery.

We're gearing up for our 30 year class reunion this next weekend.  It ought to be interesting, I haven't been to any of mine.  Our "story", is known by a lot of people in the town we grew up in, only because they were our classmates in grade school and highschool.  To know that Mr. P and I are back together after 30 years is considered somewhat of a romantic fairytale.  And I would have to agree.  It will be fun to see everyone and share all of our stories.

I'm realizing I won't be blogging on a daily basis, at least I don't think so.  So, if you're reading this, be patient with me.  It's been a LONG while since I've written anything.....let alone a blog about myself.  But rest assured, this will be a fun journey.

Until next time.

Day 3 - TGIF

Came to work with Mr. P today.  After a rather long night with a visiting friend, and a little too much wine, we arrived at the studio this morning around 10:00.  I used to find it fun to come to work with Mr. P, because I had things to do.  I helped set up his new office, got it organized, helped make it a well oiled machine.  But now there is no longer a use for my talents.  So, I prefer to stay home!

But today we have a lunch meeting with my friend, who was the one who kept me up too late last night.  I wonder if he's feeling better or worse than I am!  We will be discussing a potential new business opportunity.  One I am very excited about.  Details to follow in another post.

Day 2 - and loving my life

I wake up, and my fairytale continues....

Let me be clear, it's definitely a happy life, but there are still things, like not being able to sleep last night and waking up cranky, that are part of everyones normal day, once in awhile.

Mr. P and I have this thing, when the alarm goes off, we hit snooze, then I lay my head on his chest for the duration of the next snooze, then we wake up and get out of bed.  (most mornings!)  Well, this morning, I rolled over and said "no". I immediately felt bad.  My lack of sleep wasn't his fault, and yet I took it out on him.  And although he didn't say anything, I knew I hurt his feelings.  I rolled over and lay my head on his chest, and we both remained silent.

This is something I learned from my many years of being an adult.  It's not rocket science, but sometimes there are things you say or do that you regret.  It is imperative, I mean IMPERATIVE that you rectify the situation as quickly as possible.  Don't hold out, don't be too proud, don't be stupid.  I never understood this, or maybe I didn't care, with my previous relationships to take a moment and realize how I made my partner feel.  Granted, it helps when your partner actually treats you as though you are someone important in their life.  But still, one should never behave that way, right?  At least that is what my mother always taught me.

I feel a persons childhood can shape them for the rest of their lives.  It is a learning experience that we need to remember and take with us each day.  And cherish.  Whether it was good or  bad, it is still information that we can use to help us navigate our futures.  I thought my family was the best family in the world.  I had a loving Mom and Dad, and 3 big brothers whom I adored.  Certain events took place, I lost my mother to cancer when I was 15, and my dad to a heart attack at the age of 17.  Needless to say, my world was turned upside down.  But this blog isn't about how I lost my way after that.....because I obviously found it again.  But my point is that even though one goes through a huge loss like that, they can still come out of it ok.  It took awhile.  A very long while.  But each day I am grateful for what I have and for what I have learned.

I have always had this need to help people. Perhaps it started when my mom took my fellow dancers and I around to the nursing homes to put on performances.  I remember one time there was one patient who couldn't make it to the rec room, as both of her legs were amputated and it was too difficult to move her. She requested I dance for her in her room.  I was 8.  I straightened my tutu, and took my little portable record player into her room.  I set it up, plugged it in, put on my record of Beethoven's Classics and proceeded to dance for her in her little room, as my mom looked on with pride.

It was at that moment, when I realized that helping others, was truly.....a good thing.   I'll get to my point, I promise.

Until next time!  And again, thank you for reading!

My very first blog entry - fingers crossed

Hello,

My name is Ms. Jones.  I want to tell you a little about myself, so that you can understand why I wanted to start this blog.

I recently moved in with my boyfriend, (we'll call him Mr. P) whom I have known for 40 years.  Yes, 40 years.  We met in 2nd grade, in a small town in Oregon.  Was it love at first sight?  Probably not.  But I thought he was cute, so much so that I would punch him in the arm on occasion just to let him know.

He turned out to be my first "boyfriend", or at least thats what I was calling him.  He would give me a box of chocolates every year on Valentines Day, so I guess that qualifies.  We each shared our very first kiss behind the baseball diamond, on a dare, and we were both so nervous, we almost missed.  But that was a long, long time ago.

During our grade school years, my mother taught ballet to several young girls, myself included.  And apparently Mr. P wanted to try it too.  I did not find out until much, much later that he was only interested because I was in the class. He became my dance partner for several recitals we put on at the local nursing homes.  Although he wasn't a very good dancer, he excelled in making my mom fall in love with him by his complete adoration for her daughter.

We did go to the junior high school prom together, which he delights in reminding me that I did NOT look very happy in our prom picture.  Personally, I think I was just nervous.  We were friends, had always been friends.  Our families knew each other and my siblings were classmates with his siblings.  Not unusual for a small town.  And then, we graduated.

My, how time flies.

Thanks to social media, I saw him again, after 30 years.  He, divorced from his wife, and I divorced from my husband, we met at a local bar, in our home town, and well......that is where my real story begins.

Stay tuned.....and thank you for reading!